


the lower i get, the higher i'll climb

by chylersilva



Series: adventures of aaliya hawke & varric tethras [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 10:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3725347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chylersilva/pseuds/chylersilva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaliya Hawke doesn’t handle grief exceptionally well, but she’s working on it. Set post All That Remains, so be prepared for feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the lower i get, the higher i'll climb

The pain was deep, like an arrow straight into the heart that she couldn’t pull out. It’d been weeks now, or was it only days? She couldn’t be sure. She’d been watching the scene play out again over and over in her mind for too long now. There was nothing that she could have done, she’d heard reassuring voices try to tell her. She knew they meant well, but they were no match for the guilt plaguing her. When she’d told her friends that she needed time to herself, they understood and kept their distance for the most part. They were all she had now, this misfit group of people she loved more than she would admit. Especially him. That she hadn’t seen coming. In between all the easy jokes, the white lies and seemingly endless battles the smug bastard had somehow become a necessity in her life. 

More and more, she found herself giving in as thoughts of sorrow and loss were replaced with longing for his company. It was a nicer feeling than any she’d allowed herself for some time, and it took more strength than she had left to fight it any longer. She decided it was time for a change. This self pity and brooding routine was best left to those more equipped for it. It was late, but that didn’t matter. He would more than likely be awake anyway, and still wouldn’t be complaining if he wasn’t. She didn’t want to wake the others in the household, but knew Orana would worry so she left a quick note to let her know that she likely wouldn’t be back before midday tomorrow.

The walk to the Hanged Man felt familiar and foreign at the same time. She’d made the journey so many times that it was easy enough to let her feet do the leading while she tried to clear her mind. It was never exactly smart to go wandering around the streets of Kirkwall alone at night, but when did she ever claim to be so? If any apostates or templars or bloody bandits wanted to challenge her, let them try. But she encountered no trouble on her walk and soon found herself standing in front of the tavern sign. Throwing a hood over herself, she slipped into the shady scene without notice. She wasn’t here to answer questions about the Champion of Kirkwall. Although she had to admit having a few drinks sounded like an idea she could embrace. Still she moved on to the back rooms where Varric had his chambers. The door wasn’t even locked, which somehow didn’t surprise her. 

His back was to her as he seemed occupied in his writing. It was a process she often enjoyed watching. Enjoy. She hadn’t done that in a while either. He hadn’t noticed her yet, so she took the opportunity to walk over and sit at the edge of his bed. That he heard, however, and made to grab for his crossbow before turning around. “Bianca finally going to do me in?” She asked, finding an odd comfort in the sarcasm. “I knew she couldn’t handle sharing you.” He seemed to fight a smirk at that. Within seconds he’d closed much of the space between them, only hesitating when he was within arm’s reach. 

“Hawke…you’re here. Aaliya,” he added her first name in a low voice. She could see a mixture of emotions in his eyes. Concern, surprise, pleasure and amusement. A bit of confusion as well. “Are you…?” He didn’t finish the question, but she knew what he was asking. Was she alright? Feeling better? It was the natural question to ask, but she didn’t quite feel up to sharing how okay or not okay she remained. There would be time for that eventually. Right now, the only thought coursing through her was the desire to feel him close, to be reminded of the love she still had instead of that she’d lost. She beckoned him closer and he complied, moving in to stand between her legs, hand on her knee. He’d been waiting for this, she realized. He knew her well enough to realize she would come around eventually and he seemed glad it was now.

“I’m here,” she responded, reaching out to pull him into a tight hug. She found herself thinking of the smartass comments he would usually make, something about his not minding their height difference so much when his face ended up pressed to her chest. A smile snuck its way onto her face and when they parted the dwarf responded with a grin of his own. 

“Now there’s a sight for sore eyes.” He quipped, hand reaching out to the side of her face, a rough thumb tracing the corner of her lips. She felt a wave of comfort settle in and around her at the gesture, letting out a small sigh. One step closer to feeling herself again. She knew what her next step would be. Nimble hands reached up to grip into the V dip of his shirt- if you could call it that with the bare chest to fabric ratio as it was. A firm tug and she met his lips with hers for a kiss she’d been thinking about for longer than she realized. Perhaps next time she faced a loss like this she wouldn’t be so quick to push him away, but then again she rather hoped there wouldn’t be a next time. He seemed eager as she was, deepening the kiss as hands trailed towards her hips. She wanted desperately to pour her emotions into him this way, to tell him how much she missed and needed him, especially now. Actions for the moment seemed better than words as she slid a hand up his chest to rest against the place where his heart would be. When their lips finally separated, they didn’t go far, foreheads resting against one another. Breathlessly, she felt a small laugh leave her throat. 

“Maker, I’ve missed you.” 

“Well, you know what they say. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. Not that this handsome mug needs any help keeping your interest, right?” It was a clear effort to keep the mood light, something she appreciated and rewarded with another kiss.

“Promise you won’t ever leave me.” The words startled even herself, but he replied without hesitation. 

“I promise.” Whether it was truth or one of his easily crafted lies she couldn’t be sure, but she let herself believe it anyway.


End file.
